Wondering why she never emailed you back?

Dear pretty much every guy online,

Good conversation is like a ping pong match. I have nothing to say to you if you don't ask me any questions and simply talk about yourself. You've given me nothing to respond to and I don't think it's worth writing "That's nice" when you answer my question of "where do you live?"

The appropriate response would be "And where do you live?"

Sincerely,
Nothing to talk about

Adventures in Dating, Post #2

Dear Johnny,

Apart from the obvious issue with your name being that of a 5-year-old... you have already sent me 4 emails to which I did not respond. Please don't send a 5th. I am not interested. And I don't feel that I owe you a lengthy explanation of this conclusion since your emails basically consist of one word such as "Hi."

Sincerely,
Have some self respect

Adventures in dating, post #1

Dear Dave,

So if you mention the word PORN in the first few emails you send to someone in an online dating forum, you can pretty much assume that a woman with any dignity is going to proceed to ignore you. I can give you the benefit of the doubt that perhaps you said something stupid when you were nervous, but then when you followed it up with "Hey, I am a guy!" I have to think that you are just really into porn. Therefore, this concludes our correspondence.

Sincerely,
Not looking for a "whack" job